True Story

This is an article I wrote for shecky magazine. Enjoy!

TRUE STORY!

JIMMY SHUBERT is a standup comic and an actor who grew up in Philadelphia. He is a nationally touring headliner. He lives in Hollywood. He has appeared in several major motion pictures. He toured the U.S. with the late Sam Kinison Outlaws Of Comedy. He has appeared several times at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal.


"I step off the elevated train and I see two cops with German Shepards and I said, 'Whaddya know? Philadelphia-- the only city with blind cops!'"

You can just hear the rim shot after that one.

This joke was told by a comedian named London Lee, whether it was his joke is another story. His father owned the Lee Jeans company. Let's just say London Lee was never a starving artist. I am very familiar with that particular joke. My father was a Philadelphia Police detective that saw London Lee perform one night. He was on duty, assigned to a security detail for Lee's show and it seems that was the only joke my father retained from Mr. Lee’s performance.



When I was 14 years old, I was a magician that was doing the whole comedy/magic combo plate. I was getting about two or three gigs a month. I was definitely interested in performing comedy. I used to fall asleep reading joke books that I bought at the magic shop. My father, being the astute student of comedy, took it upon himself at every opportunity to tell me that same joke over and over until I left the house when I was about 19 years old--coincidentally to pursue a career in standup comedy. Even then it never stopped my father from torturing me with that same hacky joke for years afterward. Whenever I called from California, he would say," Hey Jim, I saw two cops with German Shepards get off the train and whaddya know? Philadelphia-- the only city with blind cops" Bah-dum bum! He would chuckle because he knew I wasn’t fond of the joke. I have to be honest, it annoyed the hell out of me. And I was developing a serious dislike for London Lee.

A few years later a friend of mine opened a comedy club called "Stiches Comedy Club" in Northeast Philly, right in the neighborhood where I grew up. Johnny Tucci, another good friend, managed the club and booked me as a feature act with a comic named "The Legendary Wid" Wid is an absolutely hysterical prop comedian, and the first comedian I ever saw in Philly. When I saw him, I said this is what I want to do! I had been in L.A. for about four years and I was really ready to come back and show off for my family and my friends.

The last time they saw me do standup comedy, I died a horrible death, I went down in flames like an Iraqi fighter pilot.

Needless to say, I was very excited: I'm coming home to see family and friends AND I'll be working a real gig with someone I really liked and respected. I wanted to be as funny in front of large groups of people, just like I had seen Wid do. I had a lot more polish now and I wanted to let everybody know I was serious about pursuing a career as a standup comedian.

This was a huge deal for me. My father and mother were coming to see me perform, all five of my brothers and their friends were going to be there. I was unveiling the new and improved Jimmy Shubert. I remember it very clearly as I sit here and type. I could see my father from the stage. I remember making a lot of eye contact with him and I was having a great set. It was very sureal; it was like one of those moments where you know you're in control so you relax and you just start stripping it down the middle.

After the show my brothers and my friends had a great time. They were patting me on the back and talking about what a great show it was. My parents said they hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. It was just one of those magical evenings.

I was about to find out that there where much bigger forces at work there that evening. I was getting ready to leave and I walked over to the Wid to say goodnight, leaving my parents, family and friends sat around in the bar area. Wid sat with a small group of people and I said, "Excuse me, Wid. I just wanted to say goodnight" With that, he introduces me to the people in his party.

Among them is a much older gentleman dressed completely in black-- black turtleneck, black velvet sports coat and a pair of black Lee jeans. He's wearing a bad hairpiece that was painfully obvious and he must have used a whole tube of Man Tan on what little flesh that was exposed. He had a headlock on his fading youth and was taking it to the mat. It was spooky. He looked like a old, frail and very tan vampire.

Wid says, "Jimmy, do you know London Lee?" I got chills! I totally lost it! I told him, "Wait here! I’ll be right back! I have to introduce you to your biggest fan! PLEASE, don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back!" I quickly walked over to my father as my heart raced. I had to calm myself down. I looked at my Dad and I took a deep breath and smiled and he smiled back. I took my father by the arm and said, "I have someone I want you to meet." As we approached the table I could barely contain myself. I said, "London Lee, this is my father, who is, without a doubt, your biggest fan!" London Lee extended his hand and said, "Your son is a very funny man." Did my ears deceive me? Did I just hear London Lee tell my father I was a very funny man?! Wow!

This was a magical night. We talked and exchanged pleasantries only very briefly, but I will never forget that night because London Lee said to my father that I was a very funny man. This mythical creature I had heard about for most of my adolescence, it was like a sign from God that I was on the right track with my life. And to make it even better, my father never told me that stupid joke ever again.